Yesterday...

I had such a bad day. I nearly cried 4 times, and finally a little tear rolled down my cheek when I was on the train.. great. I felt as if i'd made a mistake. The wrong mistake at that. Stuck in a rut that I couldn't get out of. So, nearly crying just made me feel like a child again. I was suddenly back in year 8, crying in my maths lesson because I couldn't balance equations. Unlike then, this matters - this is my job, possibly my future. So i sat in my lecture, not understanding what was going on; since when did I like Optics, I love English, and I couldn't figure out why I was sat there; its a job. That's it. I have a job for at least 3 years, so in reality that job security. But really? I'm so angry at myself I passed up the oppurtunity to do soemthing I love - even if I wouldn't be able to get a job at the end of it. I don't know why I felt sad.. I was just annoyed.
This is where my friends come in. An hour phonecall later, and the reasoning - you didn't quite english when you didn't know what a hyperbole was - I was fine.

Back on track <3

Just leave..

you know nothing. You wind me up. Embarrass me. And you make me want to cry.
But I can't get rid of you.

I love you too, but I just can't smile.

I miss you

more than I thought I would.

♥

I just want to be held,
to be hugged,
to be loved.
to keep falling
but never get hurt.
to get lost with you
but never lose you
to keep you and never let go
because i love you.

voilets in a misty haze
take away the light from days
and steal the sun till evening light
where larks and shine are out of sight
and in the darkened misty daze
sleep walks and talks in many ways
till lark of light and lark of love
sing so like; a piece of dove.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes

Everything just looks as if it's falling into place.
I should be happy.
But I don't know why i'm not.

Everyone else has plans.
I don't want their plans - I want my own.

But they don't seem to be real just yet...

you make me smile

I sit and wait for your return
so eager, with much more to learn
of lust and love and of the world
like a petal newly unfurled
into the morning light of day
where I find you still, as we lay
together silent, hand in hand
a simple kiss, I understand
to show my love, no words i need
instead a smile I concede.

&

the
love
kick
starts
again.

Mr Darcy;

you are to blame for my high expectations of men.

if only life were a book.

you've got me sewn;

six little stitches hold my heart together
each one perfectly
criss crosses over and under;
entwined, but never joined
until you unpick them one by one
and sew your heart to mine
and our destinies are joined.

oh hi there

i am invisible
standing at a crossroads
waiting for something to happen.

surrounded by your embrace;

I want to run barefoot across the grass

into your arms

hold your hand

fall asleep with my head on your chest

and walk away at dusk

that is all.

ohh so innocence;

If we were children i'd bake you a mud pie
just beneath the sun,
and i'd try so hard to show you what i'd done

but now we have to feel alive
& fight for love just to survive
press on to lips to spark a kiss
our days are just a wish.

& i don't understand why.

just a fine frenzy

and I think of you, whenever life gets me down

♥

he and I, had something beautiful

but so dysfunctional it couldn't last

♥

I should've known;

you'd bring me heartache,

almost lovers always do.

♥

theres hope for the hopeless...

don't tell a soul goodbye;

So; here we are.
At the end. Of an era maybe?
Or perhaps its just time we all grew up a bit.
Either way, we're just standing at a crossroads.
Waiting for something to happen..

dum.de.dum

If I were you, and you were I
I'd dance acros the dusky sky
To tell you of our destined love
I am close, but you're a dove
You know of me, do choose your fate
Within the world we love to hate
Where flowers bloom, but seen are thorns
Within your eyes so dull forlorn
Shall you weep if I not belie?
Our palms so close with you at nigh'

beauty.

pick a diamond, pick a pearl, there is beauty in the world ♫
but inner beauty counts for the most ♥
beauty can be looks or features. but the surface always gets scratched
beauty can be art, a song, a dance but not everyone's an artist.
words can be beautiful & come from the heart. the mind. the soul.
but beauty is a perception.

Mountains don't speak, but older than time
Spoken words true, away do they shine
As the stars so bright in a place of their mist
Heart clouded in torment a breif frozen twist
Reflection of person o how I show
The truth in myself when we do not know

Thou art love,
If thy lovers name,
Beholds the fate to twice proclaim.

Dwindling days till the end of time
Moon cast over the mountains sublime
Waves turn on heat, movement a glow
Turning away, we must separately go
In fear of the lips, hiding for days
Doubt in my soul, your face is a haze
Freedom we reach or lonesome we go
For a dance of the butterflies dying in cold.

Dreams Melt Into Reality

Are having dreams even possible if you know that they’re only dreams? How would any of us know if the whole “Carpe Diem” thing is really a good idea? Living in the moment is all well and good. But really? How many of us can say that we have actually lived in the moment and made a decision that has impacted our life long term – for real. In all honestly I can’t say that I have. Obviously there are things that I would have liked to have said, which would probably have affected my life somehow. But to me, the world is a pretty big place, and I’d like to start living in it. Making a footprint to show that you’re alive is a pretty big step, so lets Diem the Carpe. Take a step you’ve wanted to. Trust those you love & just believe… something good will happen soon. And if it doesn’t; you are not believing that it will. ♥

Footprints On My Heart

There is a famous quote, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart. And we are never, ever the same". In my opinion it's a very irritating quote, because to me it sounds like when you lose someone, your immediate thought is to commit suicide because they're gone. I have recently learnt that everyone needs someone. Friends, family, someone you love or just that person who you smile at in that awkward way because you don’t know them well enough to say 'hey', and won’t have the nerve to. The fear factor will always be there stopping you from doing those things that you want to do, and perhaps those that you shouldn't do. The difference is where you’re conscience is meant to kick in. Whether it will or not is a battle within yourself, but those you choose to be around can help. Always. If you’re conscience isn’t there, then they’ll always be someone to offer help. You don’t always have to take it, but its worth noting once in a while. Those who have helped me, I thank you. Always ♥

Dancing On a Daydream...

Maybe when I’m dreaming

I’ll dream of you and I

One day we shall be dancing

Upon the moonlit sky

Above the clouds we dance away

In beauty and in grace

Until the light of morning day

To share that soft embrace