Yesterday...

I had such a bad day. I nearly cried 4 times, and finally a little tear rolled down my cheek when I was on the train.. great. I felt as if i'd made a mistake. The wrong mistake at that. Stuck in a rut that I couldn't get out of. So, nearly crying just made me feel like a child again. I was suddenly back in year 8, crying in my maths lesson because I couldn't balance equations. Unlike then, this matters - this is my job, possibly my future. So i sat in my lecture, not understanding what was going on; since when did I like Optics, I love English, and I couldn't figure out why I was sat there; its a job. That's it. I have a job for at least 3 years, so in reality that job security. But really? I'm so angry at myself I passed up the oppurtunity to do soemthing I love - even if I wouldn't be able to get a job at the end of it. I don't know why I felt sad.. I was just annoyed.
This is where my friends come in. An hour phonecall later, and the reasoning - you didn't quite english when you didn't know what a hyperbole was - I was fine.

Back on track <3

Just leave..

you know nothing. You wind me up. Embarrass me. And you make me want to cry.
But I can't get rid of you.

I love you too, but I just can't smile.

I miss you

more than I thought I would.